Hangover

Dallenbachs

The car horn startled me and I woke up on the sofa. I knew it was Joe and his sister Patty giving me a ride to work. I could feel the hangover and I apparently slept in my guard trunks. I went into the bathroom and quickly brushed my teeth and headed out the door. They were in Patty’s Red Chrysler Convertible Starfire. I always liked that car and so did my brother Kevin as several years later he bought it from Patty. I think I slept the entire ride to Dallenbachs.

All the lifeguards had chores to do early in the morning and on that particular day Joe and I drew the short straws because we had to clean the bathrooms. We cleaned the boy’s bathroom first and headed into the girls. I started in the showers and Joe started in the stalls. We both were equipped with the latest and greatest cleaning tools; a hose. All of a sudden I heard a girl scream and Joe laughing. Joe yelled for me to “come see this”. As I came around the corner I saw Joe standing in front of the stall with the door wide open the hose pointed into the center of the stall. The girl in the stall was on the toilet peeing as Joe gave he a cold shower with the hose. I pulled the hose away from Joe only to witness Sherri soaked still peeing with her bikini bottoms around her ankles. I shut the door and asked her how she got in here as we weren’t open yet. She said she had to go really badly and they let her in. Joe and I must have both been back in the showers when she came in otherwise we would have seen her. I don’t want to say she was wicked embarrassed but she had a hard time making eye contact after that day.
Next we had to teach swim class. I’m sure the screaming sounds of 5-7 year old learning to swim will be good for my hangover. We did a lot of floating that morning. I managed to survive swim class only to find out I was guarding “Kiddy”. I don’t think I could have taken watching those screaming brats all day. I begged Tom Thorley if he would change with me and he saved my ass and agreed. Tom actually gave away the best guard position “the raft”. Dallenbachs had a raft out towards the middle of the lake and 20 yards away was a separate raft with life guard stand permanently affixed to the raft. There was always a lot of pushing and shoving on the raft with strict rules on violations. The first offense you had to get out of the lake and onto the lifeguards raft for a half hour, second offense an additional one hour and third offense you were kicked out for the day. These regulations were clearly posted and it was the raft guard’s duty to enforce them. I don’t know exactly how it started but when someone was being punished on the life guard’s raft they would occasionally ask permission to dip into the water to cool off. It was a reasonable request which was granted. Most of the life guards were guys and we did notice from our aerial perspective that when many of the teenage girls got on and off the raft it was quite revealing. In an effort to promote this behavior if female raft violators chose to jump up and down on one foot one hundred times they were exempt from the half hour rule and could return to the raft after completing the task. It was after all completely voluntary and provided entertainment for the troops so to speak. There were some violators like Barbara Catarina that would draw the attention of every teenage male within 100 yards. Being a life guard at that moment made it all worthwhile. Some violators would become regulars and would draw applause from the male audience. On that particular day Joe Willis’s girlfriend, Eileen, had to be punished for pushing someone off the raft. She chose the hop on one foot punishment to the delight of all the guys on the raft. While she was jumping up and down she noticed my toenails had been painted day glow pink and started to laugh. Now everyone on the raft knew and were laughing. I looked down at my feet and sure enough my toenails were bright pink. This didn’t help my hangover! So now I had to walk around the entire day listening to all the not so flattering comments! Apparently my sisters Colleen and Erin thought painting my toenails when I was passed out drunk would be funny!

Dallenbachs

Dallenbachs

During the fall of 1968 I decided to take Senior Life Savings at the WMCA in New Brunswick in order to become certified as a lifeguard. Friends of mine Joe Willis and Tom Thornley were also enrolled in the course. The program was conducted by the Red Cross and there were about 20-25 students in the class. The instructor from the Red Cross was a pleasant guy in his 40’s and his assistant was on the swim team at Rutgers. The assistant (we soon referred to him as Water Boy) had an attitude of authority which not only bothered me but others in the class. One might say he was a little piss ant. He actually counted the laps you swam so you couldn’t cheat and would give you penalty laps. He was annoying, full of himself and completely missing the big picture. During one class he got us all out of the water next to the deep end of the pool and asked for a volunteer. Hey we’re from New Jersey there are no volunteers stupid. Finally he chose me stating that I looked like a tough guy. He had no idea. Water Boy wanted to demonstrate how a lifeguard would handle a victim that panicked underwater. He instructed me to get in the pool behind him, drop to the bottom and put him in a bear hug and he would show us all how he was going to escape my grip. Several of the students were now making jesters for me to squeeze the juice out of him. We descended to the bottom of the pool where I proceeded to put him in a bear hug tighter than anything he had ever experienced. He twisted, he turned, and he fought like an amateur all to no avail. All he did was exhaust himself and run out of air. Finally he tapped out and came up to the surface where he was greeted by the entire class laughing and sneering at him. Even the instructor from the Red Cross was smirking. He wasn’t near as cocky after that and I apparently made some new friends in the class. Particularly two guys from St. Joes in Metuchen; Terry McGovern and Donavan. It’s amazing how fast you make friends when you have a common enemy. Terry, Donavan and I became instant friends that day. They would occasionally visit East Brunswick High School for lunch. I don’t know how long they had for lunch but they certainly didn’t rush. I soon learned that parochial school ran on merits and demerits and that Donavan and Terry had the most demerits in the school; an accomplishment they were both proud of. The Monsignor referred to them as nefarious provokicators. Saint Joes was an all boys Catholic High School so not to wonder they liked being at our school. I think they started having lunch at our school more than their own. Our teachers thought they belonged there.

Soon we got around to applying for lifeguard jobs. You had to have experience to be a lifeguard at the Ocean so only pools and lakes were available to us. We applied for most of the jobs in our area. I wanted to guard at Dallenbachs but didn’t get an offer there and was going to guard at Country Swim Club in East Brunswick. About two weeks before summer I got a call from Frank Derespinis, the pool manager at Dallenbacks, offering me a life guard position. I said yes no questions asked. I knew Terry was still looking so I called him and let him know he should apply at Country Swim Club. He did and secured the position.

It looked like a good summer ahead. I got the job I wanted and Terry was happy to get a job. About four weeks into the summer Terry told me he was going to have a party at Country Swim Club. I said that was really nice of them to let him have a party there. Then he let me know it was kind of a secret party. He would open the pool like 10 PM way after everyone went home. We would only invite immediate friends and stuck way back in the woods who would be the wiser. It all sounded so good. The night of the party I rode my Triumph over with Tom about 11 o’clock thinking I could hide it in the woods or next to the garbage receptacles. As we approached the driveway I saw all the lights on, heard a stereo blasting and saw about 50 cars in the parking lot. If this were as secret party I was wondering who didn’t know! I could smell the pot walking in the gate. They had a keg set up on ice and were barbecuing hamburgers and hot dogs. There must have been 100-150 people there drinking, smoking, getting high, getting laid or some combination. The cabanas were full with people making out. The pool was full with half naked people and Terry and Donavan looked like the ultimate party host.

“Nice intimate party Terry” I said as I approached him. “Yea ya know this person told the next person and before we knew there are hundreds of people partying. I told him the lights were on in the parking light and his said they could find a switch to turn them out. “Relax Pat, have a beer. No one’s gonna see us out here in the woods” declared Terry. Less than an hour later three cop cars pull in the parking lot to break up the party. Naked people ran for cover. Stoned people didn’t care and Tom and Danny thought the cops couldn’t see them hanging under the diving board. Needless to say Terry was unemployed again.