TURNPIKE TREES

Tony Daddio heated his home with two fire places and a pot belly stove. I was always comfortable in the house even in the depths of winter. The rear property fence had always a minimum two rows of cut logs about four to five feet high. This wood was the fuel to heat his home. Mr. Daddio would accumulate the wood during the spring, summer and autumn months. If you needed a big tree taken out of your yard the Daddios would do it for little to no cost as Tony wanted the wood.

Where ever there was property to clear Tony would volunteer to get rid of the trees. I remember one brisk Sunday morning waking up at the Daddios to the sound of chain saws buzzing. I could smell Mrs. Daddios’ coffee percolating in the aluminum pot. That coffee would make your hair stand up! Mr. Daddio came in for breakfast and informed young Tony, Ralph, Darryl and I that we’d be tree surgeons today. Mr. Daddios property was close to an area owned by the New Jersey Turnpike. That property was apparently going to be developed soon as surveyors had recently marked trees they wanted removed. This was like an invitation to Mr. Daddio to help himself. His approach was like a friendly neighbor just helping out. After breakfast like an army of leaf cutting aunts we marched off with our McCullah’s over our shoulders. Mr. Daddio gave the orders, “Tony you and I will cut down the trees and after Darryl cuts off all the branches we will cut up the girth of the tree. Ralph you and Pat can stack the wood onto the pickup and drive back to the house to unload.” I never really argued with my father I just figured he knew best but Ralph and Tony always argued with their Dad usually over the best way to do some physical task. I don’t know if it was because they were Italian or if it was just a family characteristic but they would get into heated arguments over what I would consider minor reasons. This morning was no different from others. Young Tony was yelling over the noise of the chain saws that his dad was cutting the trees wrong and if they did it his way they would be spot on accurate on where the tree would fall. The old man insisted upon using ropes to guarantee the spot the tree would drop so no one got hurt. We used the ropes all day. The ol’ man usually won the arguments. After several hours of helping Mr. Daddio’s neighbor we had a good size driveway cleared of the trees and we were showing some good signs of progress.

Just then an official New Jersey Turnpike Authority Truck pulled up next to where we were working. Two men exited the truck and stood there in awe. The driver was saying something to Ralph and me because we were the closest but we couldn’t hear a damn thing he was saying due to the noise from the three chain saws. We motioned we couldn’t hear him so he approached us and asked us what we were doing on Turnpike property. We told him we didn’t know we were just laborers he’d need to speak to the foreman. Ralph pointed towards his dad who just now noticed the intruders. He didn’t blink an eye rather he kept cutting with the buzz saw. The men approached Darryl next and I think he told them where they could stick it! Finally they reached Tony and his old man who pretended the intruders didn’t even exist. At one point Tony asked them to move back so they weren’t in the path of the tree about to fall. Mr. Daddio dropped the tree curiously close to where the intruders were standing. They were trying to get Mr. Daddio’s attention and he purposely was trying to avoid them. So after a little game of cat and mouse the intruders insisted they turn off the saws. Begrudgingly the two Tony’s turned off their McCullah chain saws and stood there with this discernable look on their face. One of the Turnpike Authority dudes asked Mr. Daddio in a rather rude tone what the hell he was doing on Turnpike property with those chain saws. Mr. Daddio grinned kinda like Clint Eastwood and answered, “What does it look like we doing?” “Well it looks like you unlawfully removing trees from Turnpike Authority property” barked the Turnpike employee. Tony replied, “And just who the hell are you?” “Well I’m Mr. Samson the regional director of the New Jersey Turnpike Authority,” he stated, “and you’re illegally on Turnpike property and I can have you all arrested.” “Is that a fact,” barked Tony? “Mr. don’t try and get smart with me I will call the authorities,” he replied. “Listen while you’re calling the authorities called Mr. Dorian at the Turnpike Authority and let him know what you are up to,” Tony insisted. “Mr. Dorian, Mr. Dorian why what does he have to do with this? He is the Director of the New Jersey Turnpike Authority” “Do you have a badge number or some identification Mr. regional Turnpike Authority?” barked Mr. Daddio. “Well yes why do you need that?” said he. “I want to make it very clear to Mr. Dorian just who the idiot was that stopped me and my crew from working on a Sunday earning double time in order to clear this property by 6:00 AM tomorrow morning. Our contract is very explicit if the work isn’t done on time we forfeit a significant part of our compensation and you are costing us valuable time,” Mr. Daddio stated. “But we didn’t know, did we Bob? No one told us. We weren’t informed! I don’t think contacting Mr. Dorian on a Sunday would be a good idea. Listen why don’t we help you so you can get the job done.” Tony replied, “Unfortunately the insurance won’t cover you guys but you could go to Dunkin Donuts and get us some coffee and donuts that would save us a trip.” “Well yea sure we’d be happy to do that for you considering how we interrupted your work here.” The dudes went and got us coffee and donuts and of course Mr. Daddios line about working for Mr. Dorian was a complete bluff. He just that morning read the name on the sign posted in front of the property. Never be afraid to stand your ground even if it isn’t your ground. A lesson Mr. Daddio taught me.